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Lilac89 last won the day on December 27 2016

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About Lilac89

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  1. I think this depends on how you feel about your partner. I mean, if it's real love, I doubt anyone will break things off just to test the waters... I know lesbian and gay relationships are viewed as more 'free', more 'open'... but that's not the case at all, when you love someone, you'll gonna wanna keep them close forever
  2. I think @NormaD summed it up perfectly and @Decentlady added just the right thing: falling in love is involuntary. However,if kids are involved, I think a single mom would definitely put the children first. So, of course I believe it's possible, of course I believe it can be difficult, but I also believe tough choices need to be made in some cases..
  3. Coming out is indeed great! But you're right, one should only come out to close friends and be attentive about coming out to family! Knowing that actually helps a lot! I think we're all close or at least influenced by what family thinks, even if on the outside we might seem tough..
  4. I love Christmas so much! I can't wait! I already decorated the house like crazy and look forward for the family gathering. I have many pleasant memories from when I was little, I'm so glad each year I can create new ones I also believe I'm VERY lucky to have a great family who accepts the whole LGBT ideas and me an my girlfriend as a couple. They've been supportive from the start so we'll attend family gatherings together.
  5. ^ I love this kind of attitude, I also always - and I mean ALWAYS - put myself in other people's shoes ! You can actually learn a lot by being empathetic. LGBT people are so misunderstood sometimes, it literally hurts.
  6. That's a very healthy attitude, Anna! People should definitely know beforehand that they have a friend to confide in, who will not judge I wish more people felt like this.
  7. I kinda already knew I'm a lesbian even since I was a teenager. However, I've only truly accepted it about 3 years ago, when I met my girlfriend. I guess I was afraid to admit it to myself for a long time. It felt "weird" to accept myself as a lesbian, when everyone around me was soooo straight, it felt like that was the norm and anything different would just not be ok. I've dated girls before, on the downlow, but it wasn't until I met my current significant other that I felt safe in a relationship
  8. I think we have all been raised to believe that some things are normal and some are not. But that doesn't mean we should obey such rules because we have to... You should definitely date who you feel is right for you. When I met my girlfriend, I felt that everything fit just right. On some level, I kinda already knew I was a lesbian, but was afraid to admit it even to myself. You don't need to stress yourself too much about it, how you feel is how you feel, you just need to learn to listen to your heart, that'l all
  9. I would never ever even think about outing someone against their will! That is definitely a big mistake to make, it can ruin lives, nothing good can come out of it! I hope I didn't somehow imply, in my original message, that I would do this. I believe everyone has the right to make their own decision when it comes to coming out. I've read your replies and they did help My gf. and I decided to just don't bring it up again. Our friends all know we are both out of the closet, so if they ever want to talk about it, they know where to find us
  10. I was wondering, how much encouraging is too much? We (my gf. and I) have a few friends who are afraid to come out. None of them is a teenager anymore, some already have girlfriends but they hide the relationship, some want to meet same sex partners but can't because they're secretly gay. Can't meet someone if you don't put yourself out there... So, we've been out in the open for a while now and felt free and, of course, there's the occasional judging behind our backs but you live with it.. no one's perfect.. and we keep trying to talk to these women and encourage them that it's OK to come out. It's not that scary, and it's a good thing because we'll be there for them to support them through the whole coming out process! However, I was wondering, do we risk forcing these women to come out? We did kinda talk about it a lot... sometimes I feel we're too pushy and I know this is a difficult thing to do, even as adults, so I thought, maybe we should back off for a while. What would you do? Do you usually encourage other people to come out? How much encouraging is too much? How do you know you're not forcing someone to do something they don't want, just because you think coming out is good for them?
  11. With my gf, we rarely fight, but when we do we usually sort things out without the need of apologizing to one another. We discuss each point of view and no one wins, no one loses. I think this is also a way we "evolve" together, we learn how the other one thinks, without apologizing for one having a different opinion than the other. I think apologizing should show you are a strong person and accept you did wrong, if and only if you think you did something wrong. You shouldn't apologize just to end a fight you didn't resolve anyway, and risk fighting again for the same reasons, later.
  12. I first came out to my girlfriend, and we're still together Then came our group of close friends, we felt more comfortable coming out to them first because we knew what they were thinking and such, so we took the leap! And then came the family. It was and OK experience, I'm actually sorry I didn't tell them earlier and had to hide my relationship for almost 2 years from them!
  13. What helped me most was my girlfriend and social media. My girlfriend, because we always support each other and we're always there for one another. Social media, because it's really helpful to know that you're not alone! So many other people are going through the same stuff I was, it really helped to connect with them. I think it was a lot harder for people to get the courage to come out when there was no Facebook or groups or forums or other social media you can turn to to find so many other people and read about their experiences.
  14. For me, the hardest part was building my self esteem. I was afraid to tell people, especially my family, because I thought they would be mad and disappointed. So, I decided I had to get to the point where, even if they disapproved, I wouldn't care. It was difficult to get there, but I did it. I only came out for real when I felt that even if they judged me, I won't care... My happiness and freedom are more important than what others think
  15. I do agree religion plays a HUGE part in people not accepting or understanding homosexuality. I'd say it's the number 1 reason! I also think that people who can't accept same sex relationships are real relationships are very closed minded. I don't consider them stupid, but narrow minded and that makes me sad.