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Lemonsky last won the day on May 29

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About Lemonsky

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  1. They definitely aren't the same as I always feel like I could be cool and collected yet I'm just a silent nerd who doesn't know how to have a normal conversation outside the internet. The "me" in my mental scenarios is merely an idealized version of myself and in reality I'm far from that version. Sometimes I even feel like a liar when I introduce myself online since it sounds so much different than what I'd say in real life.
  2. I'd probably say the temporary goodbyes to my phone. I often need internet to turn in school work so it'd be very inconvenient not to have access to the internet. If anyone needed me, they could also just shoot me a message via Discord or even Skype. Though having a break from both would very likely be just good.
  3. My personal favorite hairstyle would be something long and wavy, and pretty much anything that my hair won't be able to do. It's pretty long but it's hard to make it look better. Looking cool while having shorter hair would be neat as well, but I have my suspicions because of my face. The hairstyle I always have is just the usual, having my hair flow freely (in my face on windy days) with a flower hair clip on either side of my bangs. The color of the flower can vary.
  4. I think asking someone out first has nothing to do with gender so I've always seen it as something anyone could do regardless of gender. If someone's going to see a woman as "easy" when she has expressed her willingness to get to know a man as the first move, that's honestly a pretty strange mindset to have.
  5. It's actually kind of a positive thing (I hope this doesn't come off as rude) since if you pay attention to the negative feelings, you'll probably be able to look for the reason behind the negativity and eventually work it out. To me it's just that I drown my worries in either studying or the internet and I'll very likely end up forgetting about feelings for a while - which doesn't actually remove the problem but kind of just 'postpones' it. It's good to hear that you see those changes though, that's great progress!
  6. I have nothing diagnosed but man, do I find it hard to love myself. Seeing a psychologist helps on many levels but I don't know what to think about hearing that my reality is skewed as I see myself as so much worse than the others. She might be right about how I see myself but there's really nothing skewed about it. Sometimes it's a bit difficult to tell which feelings are real and which aren't, so my way of trying to feel better is to just ignore the negative feeling until I can't notice it anymore. Maybe not the best way to solve problems but at least the negative things won't hurt me while I don't remember they exist. Feel free to ignore my rambles, I don't know what I'm doing.
  7. The feeling of not having to set an alarm for the next morning, which means having extra hours to sleep is always something relaxing. I also really like to watch movies or listen to music in a comfortable position.
  8. I'll be forever thankful for my best friend for introducing Susumu Hirasawa's music to me.
  9. Me neither really. My nonexistent gaydar is probably also more likely just "what ifs" instead of actually sensing someone's sexual orientation.
  10. Cats! They're quiet and independent, but can still keep you company. I love it when they purr and hang around to receive petting, it must be the cutest thing. Our cats, Tiuku and Alma, are my favorite cats. This emoticon looks oddly like Alma. As I've mentioned in my introductory post too, I also like sharks. They're beautiful and intimidating.
  11. That has kind of happened to me already - one of my friends just told that I 'have a girlfriend in another country' in front of my other friend and a classmate (I'm using the word classmate since she doesn't want anything to do with us anymore), even though it wasn't anything else but a simple crush. They obviously ended up asking if I'm not actually straight and I couldn't lie - although I was embarrassed because it had happened so quickly like that. And now that the classmate has disappeared and has stopped responding to any of us completely, I have my own suspicions - who knows what she'll do. I'm always feeling on edge when personal information is revealed. So yes, I'm nervous that the information will somehow find its way to someone I don't want to come out to, via a former friend or someone else.
  12. Razors leave behind itchy spots and bleeding so I don't exactly enjoy shaving. There has been at least one occasion when I accidentally shaved off a patch of skin on my leg and wow, was the shower floor bloody. I let my arm hair be since I've never felt the need to shave it off. I still try my best to shave my legs and underarms when necessary though because someone could get frightened if I didn't. Summer is the time for shaving in my case since I tend to wear shorts a lot. I don't shave during winter (if there aren't any gym classes in the swimming bath) - why bother when no one's going to see the effort anyways!
  13. Single and (I accidentally typed single ant at first but I think that would describe me just as well) not any sure what to do about it. I know I've replied to this thread already with the same stuff - things are still weird but right now I'm also partly wondering about what it would be like to be in a relationship. But still partly feeling bad that I'm so me. I have a very weird need to ramble today.
  14. Someone taking my phone is instantly suspicious but not because I'd have something crucial to hide - it's more just that that I don't trust easily so it instantly feels like that person wants to change all my passwords and lock me out of my own phone. Since I'm also embarrassed of my way of texting or pretty much everything, I wouldn't want anyone to find out how many times I've accidentally forgotten the appointments with my psychologist for example. People often tell me that I think too much but as much as I hate it when they say that, they're right. I think too much even when the situation is as mundane as someone looking at my phone.
  15. Badminton is such a fun sport! It's the one I actually enjoy playing which is why I do it a lot during summer. We usually go and see relatives on our summer cottage in summer and just spend time together, and badminton is the perfect sport to play in the sun and then go for a swim in the lake if it gets too warm.