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Jester85

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Everything posted by Jester85

  1. I think it's on a case by case basis, but both sides have to be willing to adapt to each other, not just one person trying to mold the other into some kind of ideal.
  2. I'm a strong believer that if someone severs friendship with you because of your sexual orientation, they weren't truly your friend to begin with. You're the same person you were two seconds ago, you just trusted them enough to confide something about yourself, something that has no effect or harm on their lives.
  3. I'm far too passive and have been told as much. My ex-boyfriend took me for granted and used me like his personal ATM machine and I followed him around like a lovesick puppy dog. Friends tried to tell me, but at the time I didn't want to hear it. Unfortunately, my passivity leads my roommate to boss me around too. I'm a very non-confrontational person.
  4. I think you can be friends, but there will always be a limit placed on the closeness of that relationship. I used to be fairly good online friends with a conservative Christian who believed homosexuality was a sin. He was a "hate the sin, love the sinner type". We could have civil discussions about it, and we had common interests in other things, like geeking out over The Lord of the Rings. At some point or other we kind of just fell out of touch (not deliberately or anything). I've idly thought about looking him up on Facebook, but I can't remember his last name.
  5. My parents are straight and I love and accept them just the way they are! It took a bit of struggling, but I came to terms with their lifestyle choice and eventually even came to support their marriage.
  6. My go-to methods of de-stressing are listening to music or watching a movie. Sometimes I go for walks, though not much during the winter, which makes me feel pent-up and restless sometimes.
  7. I think people should own up and apologize when they're in the wrong, but you don't want to fall into that pit where you're the one apologizing for everything all the time no matter whose fault it was. A healthy relationship is about equal give-and-take. Set limitations on being apologetic. Stand up for yourself and don't let yourself be railroaded. A relationship where one person is always sorry and always apologizing and walking on eggshells around their partner is one-sided and unhealthy.
  8. I'm not sure...I guess I'd rather she know on some level so at least it's out there. My mom already kind of quietly knew, or at least strongly suspected, for a while before I gathered the nerve to tell her (which was still one of the most nervewracking things I've ever done in my life).
  9. Oh sheesh, that's an awkward situation! Could be she's just in denial to herself, even with evidence staring her in the face. Willful denial can be a powerful thing. I had a friend who thought she was straight, got a lesbian roommate, they ended up fooling around one night and ended up in a long-term relationship, and her parents were oblivious for the longest time until she straight-up told them, and they didn't take it well and thought she was "confused".
  10. Platonic girlfriends can be a lot more physically affectionate than guys can without people thinking they're a couple, so I'd say it's harder for guys. Society has pretty stringent "rules" in place as to how straight guy friends are supposed to act, and they're expected to be more reserved with physical affection than platonic girlfriends. Personally I don't know if I could do a relationship with someone who's in the closet. I really dislike the idea of hiding a relationship like I'm ashamed of it. I know it's not that simple for some people's family situations though.
  11. It's human nature to want to affirm and validate something about yourself that society thinks is wrong, as a show of defiance and self-validation. I try not to make a big deal out of being gay, as I really don't think it matters, but it matters to a lot of other people (for reasons best-known to themselves), so sometimes I can't help but feel defensive and want to be "I'M GAY!" In a perfect world, no one would feel the need to "come out" because there would be nothing to come out about, because someone being gay wouldn't be a news story, because no one would care who was gay, straight, or bi, but we don't live there yet.
  12. She could just be jealous of her and wish she had that kind of relationship. Or secretly in love with her, I'm not psychic As for the OP, it was a gradual process during high school. My last couple years in high school, I told a couple people I was "bi", and eventually came out to my mom as gay the summer after graduation.
  13. I'm inclined toward the scientific theory that homosexuality occurs naturally in a small percentage of each species as a form of population control. Contrary to homophobic propaganda, humans are far from the only species that has been well-documented partaking in homosexual activity.
  14. Relationships. I have no interest in random flings. I'd rather just masturbate.
  15. I'd say go with the flow and see what happens. People get too hung up on labels. You don't have to fit into a neat little box. Just because you're attracted to one gender doesn't mean you're not allowed to also be attracted to another. Just do your thing and it'll sort itself out.
  16. I can't know your own mind, but your opening post reads to me (which could be wrong) that you feel like you're socially "supposed" to like boys but are actually more attracted to girls. Does that sound right to you? In any case, I would say "just go with the flow". You don't have to pick one or the other, just like who you like. Don't stress yourself over fitting neatly into a box. You don't have to.
  17. I feel like outing someone against their will is a huge violation of an unspoken honor code among LGBT people, or should be. Forcibly outing someone who's not ready to be out is, IMO, one of the worst things you can do to an LGBT person. Even if you do it believing it's for their own good, it is not your decision to make.
  18. The people I have known who were closeted and then came out felt much happier and freer afterwards and like a huge weight had been lifted off their shoulders. I believe very strongly that "closets are for clothes, not people". That being said, while I think you should absolutely be supportive and encouraging of someone to come out (unless they're in a situation where they're still dependent on extremely homophobic parents, or something like that), I think you need to be careful to draw the line at pushing someone into doing something they're not ready for. It is an extrmely personal decision that we all have to make at our own pace, not anyone else's.
  19. My parents are non-denominational Protestants who don't attend church but do believe in God. I myself identify as atheist/agnostic. I get annoyed sometimes, however, by the way some people (on both "sides") act like being LGBT and religious are mutually exclusive, as I know several gay people who are VERY religious.
  20. I think most or all of us have been in the unenviable position to crush on a straight person and know it's not fun . Anyway, for me is a mix of physical and personality. I won't lie and say looks have nothing to do with it, but an average-looking person with a great personality can be more attractive than someone who looks like a model but has nothing between their ears.