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Chameli

Gender roles in lesbian relationship

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How do you define gender roles in your relationship? In other away round, do you have a gender role to perform?

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I'm much more into the gay man spectrum, and I don't really have a gender role to perform... I think that with guys it works differently because we just don't care, or I just don't care, I guess. On the dating experiences that I have had we pay for what we eat... And I don't know, I think that we treat ourselves as equals. And being this way, I think that for some man especially gay ones, there's always this fear of representing the "feminine" role, so I think that this equality goes more to that direction.

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11 hours ago, Laneorexorcist said:

I'm much more into the gay man spectrum, and I don't really have a gender role to perform... I think that with guys it works differently because we just don't care, or I just don't care, I guess. On the dating experiences that I have had we pay for what we eat... And I don't know, I think that we treat ourselves as equals. And being this way, I think that for some man especially gay ones, there's always this fear of representing the "feminine" role, so I think that this equality goes more to that direction.

Some of my lesbian friends tell me they they play gender roles on bed. However, they admin that these roles do not last forever. Sometimes they are receiver and sometimes they are giver. However, my gay friends have different story to tell, they are either a receiver or a giver. Having said that I don't want to generalize about gender roles based on my friends' experience.

As for me I like to explore my feminine side.

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I don't enjoy gender roles in any relationship, really. We were all raised differently and have been given a chance to form our own opinions. There are men that fit the typical role of a woman and women that fit the typical role of a man. I believe that the roles we play in relationships should not match up to what is expected of our gender. I would rather the person I'm with play whatever role suits them. When it comes to dating women, I find that being myself is the best option. The second I try to alter myself into a certain gender is the second I start to see problems form.

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Whether we like it or not we are influenced by the gender roles which we see around us as we are growing up, but this is true about many 'labels', we like labels. Just look at the popularity of personality type quizzes on the web, things like 'what color are you?' 'what's your defining personality trait?' the list is endless. Even our horoscopes try and put us in 12 neat little boxes :) In Nature, there aren't really any boxes, or any black or white boundaries, and this is true of us as well. Whether you see yourself as feminine or masculine is just using a convenient word that happens to exist in human language. Hence the wonder of being a part of the rainbow section of society! 

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There's a masculine and feminine energy. The right balance is responsible for creating a sexual attraction. One of the partners must be more decisive and generally dominant while the other one is more submissive and affectionate. 

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I don't see why their should be any gender roles in a relationship where the couple are equals. While I do agree that one has to assume the dominant role in the relationship, you shouldn't force it. Let it evolve organically and without having to talk about it each will take role which suits them best.

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On 19.09.2016 at 11:42 PM, embracetheunknown said:

There's a masculine and feminine energy. The right balance is responsible for creating a sexual attraction. One of the partners must be more decisive and generally dominant while the other one is more submissive and affectionate.

Who's to say dominant=masculine and submissive=feminine.

As for the OP's question, no there weren't any gender roles in any of my relationships.

Edited by DeeRaw
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I thought this was purely a couple's decision. It is how to try and learn to like and be comfortable with what pleases each other.

 

There are no hard and fast rules but some individuaks may want to stick to their roles especially in those who are bi.

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I don't see any gender specific role in such relations as in most cases both the partners belong to same gender. But if you  want to find out what a role a person plays better in such relations then it is always the pleasure that takes the front seat. The relationship is always the result when two people get attracted to each other and they know which one has to play what role. The mindset in such partnership is always very much known to both partners.

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