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Anna

Am I bisexual?

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First official message, here goes.

So, I just turned 20, less than 2 weeks ago, but I've never dated anyone seriously, ever. Some of my friends have steady relationships already, but I've never actually gone out with boys for more than a few weeks.

I say boys, because until recently, this seemed to be my only choice. For years, my parents and group of friends keep telling me how dating works, and I grew up thinking girls are supposed to date boys, because it's "normal".  The plan was always, find a nice guy, get married and have kids.

But what if I find boys to be... not my type? I mean, I feel much closer to girls, I find them to be much more interesting. 

What I'm saying is, I do enjoy my time with guys, but I feel that there's something missing. I've never asked a girl out before, but when I think about it, I find myself smiling.

I never thought I'd be so confused! Am I attracted to girls? Have I not found the right guy yet? I haven't told this to anyone, this is the first time I'm talking about how I feel, I don't even know anyone who's gay or lesbian so it's very difficult for me to relate. 

So, how do you know who you are? Am I bisexual? Am I just telling myself I 'have' to like boys, when in fact, I'm a lesbian? I don't like feeling like this, it's very uncomfortable, and have no one to talk to about it :( 

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Welcome to the forum @Anna! :)

I don't think you have to date boys, I don't think you have to date girls, you need to date the people you like. If you say that when you think about dating girls that puts a smile on your face, I think you have the answer right there. ;) Just be yourself and go ahead with it. :neo:

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Thinking about something clever to say here. :beach:

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Bisexual means you have same kind of sexual feelings towards boys as well as girls, you enjoy sexual encounters with boys as well as girls. Contrarily lesbian means you have sexual feelings towards girls and you enjoy sex only with girls. If you don't enjoy company with boys but feel attracted towards girls, I think you might be a lesbian.

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Thank you so much for the many replies! It's so nice of you guys to reply so fast!

I know asking if I'm bisexual or not does not imply I expect an actual answer, it just helps so much to get it out there and talk about it. 

 

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This is really confusing and you aren't alone. Sometimes I have found straight married women with kids later in life discover their interest in fellow females.

 

It is all a learning process I would say. You are too young to label your interests yet, I would say do what you enjoy the most, be with people that you feel happy and right with and see how it goes from there. 

 

May be you haven't met an engaging and inreresting guy yet. At this age and given your upbringing it is okay to be with girls as close buddies. Take one day at a time and live carefree.

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I think you're in a position where you just don't know what you want. Naturally, you can wait it out and you'll eventually make up your mind or you can take a step forward and test the waters. Either way, just find someone who you like and who you are comfortable with.

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I can't know your own mind, but your opening post reads to me (which could be wrong) that you feel like you're socially "supposed" to like boys but are actually more attracted to girls.  Does that sound right to you?

In any case, I would say "just go with the flow".  You don't have to pick one or the other, just like who you like.  Don't stress yourself over fitting neatly into a box.  You don't have to.

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I think we have all been raised to believe that some things are normal and some are not. But that doesn't mean we should obey such rules because we have to... 

You should definitely date who you feel is right for you. When I met my girlfriend, I felt that everything fit just right. On some level, I kinda already knew I was a lesbian, but was afraid to admit it even to myself. 

You don't need to stress yourself too much about it, how you feel is how you feel, you just need to learn to listen to your heart, that'l all :)

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5 hours ago, Lilac89 said:

I think we have all been raised to believe that some things are normal and some are not. But that doesn't mean we should obey such rules because we have to... 

You're definitely right, this is why I love some parents who taught their children there's no difference between LGBT and hetero people. It's really important how a parent raise his/her children.

I saw a video earlier on where these male models do catwalks better than a woman does. I am definitely neutral about it until I saw people commenting it as "gross" and "cannot take it". Felt quite disappointed with these people. I don't know what their parents/societies taught them. But what if they themselves do something and people say they are gross, what would they feel?

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:339_snowflake::341_snowman2::342_snowman::436_snowboarder::279_christmas_tree:

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^ I love this kind of attitude, I also always - and I mean ALWAYS - put  myself in other people's shoes !

You can actually learn a lot by being empathetic. LGBT people are so misunderstood sometimes, it literally hurts.

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