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sarahc

Why the need to come out?

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I was wondering, why does the LGBT community have the 'need' to come out? Sexuality is personal and, while I understand some cultures are more conservative, most countries in the world aren't (I think). 

Family can be against it, but they can just as well be against an opposite sex partner they simply don't like. It happens a lot.. Happened tome with my first boyfriend, no one in the family liked him. So, I was comparing situations, what's the difference between a boyfriend loved ones don't approve of, and a girlfriend? They either approve or they don't, your feelings will remain the same whichever the case.

I wonder if the day will ever come, when a couple can just "be", without the need to explain your sexuality to your family and friends. The day when you would come home and present your girlfriend to your parents.

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This is how I feel. Neither of my parents know that I am a lesbian, and I might tell my mom but with my dad, I'm not going to tell him. Once I go to college I will have a girlfriend and when I go home I will say meet my girlfriend....! But I am not going to tell him. So I agree with you 100% on all of this!


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Before you think about coming out, you need to ask yourself how important is it for you to show that world your true self. Do you want your family, friends, and the society know what kind of person you are? Does it matter whether they know you properly or not?

If you want your family, friends and the society in general treat you properly, you must come out. They need to accpet you for who you are and not for the person you are pretending to be.

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It will take some time until that day come @sarahc because this is a century old tradition and will take centuries for the status quo of things to be changed. Gay people are still seen differently, many times poorly accepted, and that is why its necessary to be very confident to come out, to be certain that it's what we want to do.

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Thinking about something clever to say here. :beach:

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20 hours ago, sarahc said:

Family can be against it, but they can just as well be against an opposite sex partner they simply don't like.

Definitely got your point there! This is in fact so true. But the only difference here is because hetero relationship is deemed to be "normal" (we were brought up and taught that way our whole life) and LGBT relationship was said to be "abnormal", "gross", "sinful" (and many more) in many societies/cultures. This is probably why some of us feel afraid to admit who we are or feel the need to explain ourselves, thus the need to come out. Not sure if I make sense, but they are related. One factor leads to another.

Parents/relatives/friends of a person will always ask "when are you going to get a ___friend (the opposite sex of the person being asked)?" How many of us or how frequently we heard a question like "when are you going to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend?".

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21 hours ago, sarahc said:

Family can be against it, but they can just as well be against an opposite sex partner they simply don't like. It happens a lot.. Happened tome with my first boyfriend, no one in the family liked him.

The main difference is my family didn't even bother to try and know any of my ex girlfriends. They just decided they're horrible and wrong for me without any conversation just because they're female. It's quite different than your situation.

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There are so many reasons that you can point to that it is really just a personal matter.  I would say pride is largest, but then again you have people who will never really be proud, and that is the same with anyone in all walks of life.

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It саn fееl likе living а liе nоt tо соmе оut "hiding whо yоu аrе is hоrriblе." оnе's sеxuаl оriеntаtiоn (аnd gеndеr idеntity) is usuаlly а hugе pаrt оf оnе's оvеrаll idеntity. Tо stаy in thе сlоsеt is tо hidе а big pаrt оf whо yоu аrе аnd tо fееl likе yоu'rе соnstаntly lying by оmissiоn. I think this is pаrtiсulаrly truе fоr thе mаny pеоplе whо gо thrоugh а pеrsоnаl strugglе bеfоrе соming tо tеrms with thеir sеxuаl оriеntаtiоn thеmsеlvеs.
 

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Соming оut саn  bе pоlitiсаl, аnd thаt's nоt а bаd thing. Соming оut nоt оnly prоvidеs hоpе аnd соmfоrt tо оthеrs struggling with thеir оwn idеntitiеs , but it аlsо hеlps еvеryоnе bеttеr undеrstаnd оthеr sеxuаl оriеntаtiоns аnd gеndеr idеntitiеs аnd оvеrсоmе stеrеоtypеs аnd fеаrs. Hаrvеy Milk fаmоusly саllеd fоr pеоplе tо соmе оut tо "brеаk dоwn thе myths, dеstrоy thе liеs аnd distоrtiоns." Sоmеtimеs fighting fоr оur rights rеquirеs us tо соmе оut.
 

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Posted (edited) · Report post

On 31.12.2016 at 11:51 PM, sarahc said:

I was wondering, why does the LGBT community have the 'need' to come out? Sexuality is personal and, while I understand some cultures are more conservative, most countries in the world aren't (I think). 

Family can be against it, but they can just as well be against an opposite sex partner they simply don't like. It happens a lot.. Happened tome with my first boyfriend, no one in the family liked him. So, I was comparing situations, what's the difference between a boyfriend loved ones don't approve of, and a girlfriend? They either approve or they don't, your feelings will remain the same whichever the case.

I wonder if the day will ever come, when a couple can just "be", without the need to explain your sexuality to your family and friends. The day when you would come home and present your girlfriend to your parents.

Соming tо tеrms with оnе's sеxuаl оriеntаtiоn саn bе diffiсult fоr mаny pеоplе. Соming оut hеlps pеоplе соnnесt with оthеrs whо hаvе gоnе thrоugh similаr еxpеriеnсе аnd rесеivе guidаnсе, аdviсе, аnd оthеr suppоrt frоm thеm.

Edited by Terry
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