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sarahc

Why the need to come out?

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Well... As a trans man I can say that it was necessary for me to come out, because I used to get all this questions about my appearance and coming out made that quite more easy, and also it's a way to prepare them (and also, prepare me) for the biggest changes. But when it comes to sexuality I think that it's necessary to come out because it's not something completely "normal" in the eyes of society, and we need to clarify that so they can digest it in the moment, I guess.


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All  relationships needs coming out. Whether straight or not. There comes a time when one has to inform parents and introduce a partmer to the family.

Whether it is a hetero or homo relationship not all gets approval as we wish.

 

When the society still disapproves of some hetero partners do you think homo relationships are going to be accepted openly? It will definitely take time for people to see anything apart from hetero as a normal thing.  

 

Till then coming out is still necessary.

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When I wasn't dating, I never felt the need to talk about my sexual business... But after I met my partner, I became ready to introduce her as my partner.. since I'm not straight, it's a coming out process.

If it would have been a guy, it would have been the same thing, minus the whole explanation:

- "yes, mom & dad, I like girls."

- "yes, I'm sure"

- "yes, I did date boys"

... and so on and so forth :'D

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On 1/3/2017 at 7:26 AM, Decentlady said:

When the society still disapproves of some hetero partners do you think homo relationships are going to be accepted openly? It will definitely take time for people to see anything apart from hetero as a normal thing.

This is true, and it's both sad and annoying. 

I guess parents will forever think they know what's best for their children and will disapprove any relationship (gay or not) if they don't like the partner. I'm actually lucky my parents like my boyfriend but yeah, I remember being stressed as well when I introduced him to my family. 

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On 06/01/2017 at 3:14 AM, DarkRose97 said:

When I wasn't dating, I never felt the need to talk about my sexual business... But after I met my partner, I became ready to introduce her as my partner.. since I'm not straight, it's a coming out process.

If it would have been a guy, it would have been the same thing, minus the whole explanation:

- "yes, mom & dad, I like girls."

- "yes, I'm sure"

- "yes, I did date boys"

... and so on and so forth :'D

Gosh now that you put it that way, it does feel like a student being asked by a teacher story!

 

Certainly noone wishes to come under that limelight and I wish that things were easier than it sounds here.

 

I know of many families even disowing their children after knowing that they are straight!  This is very painful experience for the child as it is not their fault or anything. It is beyond their control, it is just the way they are created. I wish parents saw this in a more positive light.

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On 05/01/2017 at 9:44 PM, DarkRose97 said:

When I wasn't dating, I never felt the need to talk about my sexual business... But after I met my partner, I became ready to introduce her as my partner.. since I'm not straight, it's a coming out process.

If it would have been a guy, it would have been the same thing, minus the whole explanation:

- "yes, mom & dad, I like girls."

- "yes, I'm sure"

- "yes, I did date boys"

... and so on and so forth :'D

LOL, so... how did they reacted really? I am guessing it's a hard conversation, even more because parents from a certain age on start thinking about grandchildren, and a gay son or daughter makes that process more complicated, at least in what concerns biological kids. It's just how it goes though. :)

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5 hours ago, Decentlady said:

I know of many families even disowing their children after knowing that they are straight!

Do you mean straight or not straight? 

Anywho, yeah, when it comes to such serious issues, like the risk of being disowned, I guess coming or not coming out can become a very difficult choice for someone! 

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It's human nature to want to affirm and validate something about yourself that society thinks is wrong, as a show of defiance and self-validation.

I try not to make a big deal out of being gay, as I really don't think it matters, but it matters to a lot of other people (for reasons best-known to themselves), so sometimes I can't help but feel defensive and want to be "I'M GAY!"

In a perfect world, no one would feel the need to "come out" because there would be nothing to come out about, because someone being gay wouldn't be a news story, because no one would care who was gay, straight, or bi, but we don't live there yet.

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8 hours ago, Decentlady said:

I know of many families even disowing their children after knowing that they are straight!

3 hours ago, Anna said:

Do you mean straight or not straight? 

It would be surprising if families disown their children for being straight! :P Because it sounds like their parents are LGBT and want their children to be LGBT. XD (imagining everything happening in the opposite - they will be pro-straight instead of use being pro-LGBT) :565_rainbow:

 

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Nah, that would not be happening anytime soon @SElf, but the opposite is sadly still happening. With time, eventually some decades, things would be equal I believe. Like I think I told here before, nothing like going to Amsterdam to see how open and liberal they are, much more than in Portugal where I live at least.

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