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sarahc

Why the need to come out?

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On December 31, 2016 at 1:51 PM, sarahc said:

I was wondering, why does the LGBT community have the 'need' to come out? Sexuality is personal and, while I understand some cultures are more conservative, most countries in the world aren't (I think). 

Family can be against it, but they can just as well be against an opposite sex partner they simply don't like. It happens a lot.. Happened tome with my first boyfriend, no one in the family liked him. So, I was comparing situations, what's the difference between a boyfriend loved ones don't approve of, and a girlfriend? They either approve or they don't, your feelings will remain the same whichever the case.

I wonder if the day will ever come, when a couple can just "be", without the need to explain your sexuality to your family and friends. The day when you would come home and present your girlfriend to your parents.

Hello sarahc, this is a great topic. You hit the nail on the head by using both scenarios here, it's so true that even with the opposite sex partner families can be judgmental, cruel and non accepting. You stated you wondered if one day a couple can just be without the need to explain, in my opinion the answer is no.

There is always going to be family, friends, or even community members that are against same sex partners, I think this is due to their upbringing or religious beliefs, I also believe to be at peace within ourselves,  we have to be okay with who we are, :776_two_hearts: no matter what the rest of the world thinks. 

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1 hour ago, AngelaMc said:

You stated you wondered if one day a couple can just be without the need to explain, in my opinion the answer is no.

I was afraid of this very answer, but I can't say I'm surprised. And after reading your replies I'm pretty sure I agree.

If this makes anyone feel any better, there're always gonna be straight couples with parents not agreeing with the relationship. I guess it's a parent thing I will never understand, even when I'll have kids of my own. 

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On 1/11/2017 at 11:57 AM, SElf said:

It would be surprising if families disown their children for being straight! :P Because it sounds like their parents are LGBT and want their children to be LGBT. XD (imagining everything happening in the opposite - they will be pro-straight instead of use being pro-LGBT) :565_rainbow:

 

My parents are straight and I love and accept them just the way they are! ;)

It took a bit of struggling, but I came to terms with their lifestyle choice and eventually even came to support their marriage.

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LOL, it took me a minute to realize you were joking up there @Jester85, but I am glad you decided to accept your parents for being straight, after all they were already there when you were born, so it would be hard not to accept them haha. :P

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That's funny, @Jester85 :'D:'D

When I came out, I didn't so much feel the need to 'get out of the shell', as I needed to see people's reaction. I guess I needed to see if people accept me, because this stuff matters to me. 

I have accepted myself, all that was missing is seeing if I can continue to trust and be friends with the same people. Things turned out OK in my case, the people I care most about were very OK with me being a lesbian. And the ones who weren't, well I didn't care much about them anyway :'D

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Here in the UK there as been a call for premier league footballers to 'come out', and there have even been talks by those in charge saying they HAVE to come out and I don't agree with that at all. While I can see that by more players coming out and actually declaring they're gay would be a good thing for the sport, and it would break down that taboo that seems to have been put in place, if a player doesn't want to come out then he shouldn't be forced into it.

Surely coming out and declaring that your gay should be down to the individual, and if you had any other job then you wouldn't be forced to come out and publicly explain yourself, so why should you have to do that if you are a footballer? I do agree that players should be able to come out if they want to and if they did then it would be good for the sport, and good for the LGBT community as a whole, but surely those things come secondary to what's good for the actual player and the person involved.

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6 hours ago, Lilac89 said:

That's funny, @Jester85 :'D:'D

When I came out, I didn't so much feel the need to 'get out of the shell', as I needed to see people's reaction. I guess I needed to see if people accept me, because this stuff matters to me. 

I have accepted myself, all that was missing is seeing if I can continue to trust and be friends with the same people. Things turned out OK in my case, the people I care most about were very OK with me being a lesbian. And the ones who weren't, well I didn't care much about them anyway :'D

Actually it's fairly important what you are saying here. One, we should accept ourselves for who we are, but that we can actually lose our friends because of that is many times a myth, as those we really love US will continue to do so, because we are the same person, we just have a sexual orientation they might not be aware of. ;)

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I'm a strong believer that if someone severs friendship with you because of your sexual orientation, they weren't truly your friend to begin with.  You're the same person you were two seconds ago, you just trusted them enough to confide something about yourself, something that has no effect or harm on their lives.

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It is easy to say to go and accept it who you are but in fact it is not easy in every society. Let me explain it if you are attracted to members of the same sex or feel like you have THAT feeling within yourself it means you have found out your sexual priorities.

Let me assure you that you are more than normal. In fact, when you know who you are and not afraid of being who you are is the first and foremost step of coming out.

We all know that for having a successful relationship in same sex people find it tough accepting their sexual preference. There are different personal or social reasons which makes them uncomfortable in accepting the fact.


 

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