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Can you be friend with someone who dislikes LGBT

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32 posts in this topic

1 hour ago, to7update said:

Now you got me puzzled there @Lemonsky, so two of your friends have negative views on homosexual people? In what way?

More, what do you mean about whining regarding excessive physical contact? :D

They've mentioned that they find homosexual sexual acts unnatural and how it "shouldn't be", but also that women should marry a man because "that's how it goes". I'm not sure if that was all of it though, and saying they have negative views about homosexual people could sound like there was something else as well. Sorry for sounding so weird. :grimacing:

Whining about excessive physical contact is just something I tend to do unfortunately often; if I get deliberately touched when I don't like to be touched, I start to feel bad about it and very likely begin explaining why it was excessive and stuff like that. It seems like some of my friends have grown pretty tired of it.

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@Lemonsky do your friends know about your sexuality? I was just wondering if they have thought about your feelings when they discuss things like this in front of you.

 

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1 hour ago, SElf said:

@Lemonsky do your friends know about your sexuality? I was just wondering if they have thought about your feelings when they discuss things like this in front of you.

At least I can remember telling them that I like girls, but maybe they've simply forgotten about it as I'm not one to talk about sexuality so openly.

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I am not gay, I am as straight as they come, yet I know I could never be friends with someone who keeps thinking there's something wrong or weird about being gay.

If they keep these thoughts to themselves, then fine, but LGBT topics come up often in conversations, let's face it, so if they cannot respect the LGBT community then yes, it bothers me, because I have gay friends and I would feel like I'd be "cheating" on them somehow.. 

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19 hours ago, Lemonsky said:

At least I can remember telling them that I like girls, but maybe they've simply forgotten about it as I'm not one to talk about sexuality so openly.

Mmm, I don't know if I would ever forget someone telling me that they are gay, because that is something important about one person. It doesn't make her better or worse please not, it's just something I don't forget. So maybe they do discuss that in front of you because they don't know you like girls? :newrussian:

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I actually have a few friends who dislike the LGBT community. They're not fanatics or anything, they just disagree with the idea of same sex couples. 

I believe everyone is entitled to their opinion and we have other stuff in common to talk about, which is why I don't base my friend criteria on whether people are LGBT friendly or not. 

However, they also know I am pro-lgbt, so we respect eachother's opinions, we never try to convince one another one is right and the other is wrong. This is very important to me, they know I' all pro being gay yet they never forced me to see things from their perspective. 

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22 hours ago, Lemonsky said:

They've mentioned that they find homosexual sexual acts unnatural and how it "shouldn't be", but also that women should marry a man because "that's how it goes". I'm not sure if that was all of it though, and saying they have negative views about homosexual people could sound like there was something else as well. Sorry for sounding so weird. :grimacing:

Whining about excessive physical contact is just something I tend to do unfortunately often; if I get deliberately touched when I don't like to be touched, I start to feel bad about it and very likely begin explaining why it was excessive and stuff like that. It seems like some of my friends have grown pretty tired of it.

I see. Like @SElf says, I don't they are aware that you like girls, and that is just small talk from them, what ever was and what ever will be, but we are free do to and feel what we like, that's why we have free will.

So your friends are touching you and it's something you don't want to? That's seems to be abuse or am I misunderstanding? :vinsent:

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That's pretty much the base for a good friendship @Anna, that we respect ourselves in our differences. The fact that we don't take our positions to an extreme it also good because it allow us to focus the relationship on the things we have in common, and not on our differences. ;)

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21 hours ago, sarahc said:

it bothers me, because I have gay friends and I would feel like I'd be "cheating" on them somehow.. 

Definitely know how you feel, when my housemate says nasty things about transgender, I will be like WTF because I have trangender friends. Then I will try to "educate" my housemate about it. Well as you may know, they don't normally care to shut their mouth about it.

22 hours ago, Lemonsky said:

At least I can remember telling them that I like girls, but maybe they've simply forgotten about it as I'm not one to talk about sexuality so openly.

I see. You did your part. I don't know if that's something to be forgotten easily, like @to7update I won't simply forget about my friends' sexuality or their personal stuff they told me. But individuals are different, so I can't say much about your friends, just don't let yourself get hurt in any way, that's it ;)

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On 1/10/2017 at 4:40 PM, Lemonsky said:

Whining about excessive physical contact is just something I tend to do unfortunately often; if I get deliberately touched when I don't like to be touched, I start to feel bad about it and very likely begin explaining why it was excessive and stuff like that. It seems like some of my friends have grown pretty tired of it.

OMG, I can't believe I missed this part! Also.. OMG I can't believe this happens to you.

It's definitely not ok to just touch people if it makes them uncomfortable. I'm actually one of those people who will only shake hands (and that's also excessive touching for me..) and would only hug my parents. That's it. I don't kiss anyone, don't hug, don't like it when people lean on me or pat my back, it's weird for me. And I can understand people thinking it's weird, because for them maybe touching others is normal. 

I can't help but wonder if these people think it's ok, just because you're not straight? People have the weirdest misconceptions when it comes to lesbians or gays.. 

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