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DarkRose97

Do you ever feel guilty hiding your sexuality?

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So, even if coming out to both our families was our New Year's resolution, my gf. backed out again. That's ok, I can understand her, and I will love and support her until she is ready to tell people.

However, I was yet again very excited about doing 'the coming out' with her, I had build it up in my head and, well, it's a bit disappointing it didn't happen. 

For a few days now, I keep feeling guilty. I'm ready to tell my family and everyone else, but I can't betray my girlfriend! However, I feel guilty towards my family, I feel that I'm somehow cheating in them or something.

Have you ever felt like this before? Will it pass? I haven't told my girlfriend I feel guilty yet, I don't want her to think I'm pressuring her. 

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I feel bad all the time that I haven't opened up to people yet. I'm just scared because I know the reaction will not be what I want it to be. Most of my family has a thing against gay marriage, and it makes me upset all the time when they talk bad about it in front of me.... because they don't even know that I like girls. I get mad at myself sometimes because I feel like I'm keeping secrets from them but I'm honestly not close with either of my parents. So it's harder to tell them.


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16 hours ago, lindsey723214355 said:

Most of my family has a thing against gay marriage, and it makes me upset all the time when they talk bad about it in front of me.... because they don't even know that I like girls. I get mad at myself sometimes because I feel like I'm keeping secrets from them but I'm honestly not close with either of my parents. So it's harder to tell them.

I feel you.. it's like it became the biggest secret in your heart for no reasons. I am not too close with both of my parents too, so it's also definitely harder for me to tell them. I find that it's a lot easier to come out to your parents when you're like friends with your parents and the chances that they'll accept your sexuality is higher even if they may not like it.

@DarkRose97 but I don't feel guilty for hiding. Never felt guilty and never felt un-accepting of my own sexuality. :)

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I also feel guilty, but for very different reasons. I grew up in a very religious environment  where being a lesbian is a sin :(Lying about it is also not OK, but hopefully one day I'll be able to let these fears go. I wish the same for you, @DarkRose97!

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I would really hope that nobody is ever feeling guilty, as that just seems to be one of the worst things you could be about your sexuality.  Hopefully these people have the support that they need, but of course this is not always the case.

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23 hours ago, Holmes22 said:

I would really hope that nobody is ever feeling guilty, as that just seems to be one of the worst things you could be about your sexuality.

I agree! 

Sexuality is basically who we are. It's us at our most intimate, so it's not OK to feel guilty or ashamed of being LGBT. 

@DarkRose97 it sadness me to hear you feel this way. But you're hiding your sexuality for a good cause, you're waiting for your girlfriend to get to the point where she's also ready to come out. So, hang in there! Love conquers everything, remember that :)

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I can understand you feeling guilty, even if mostly felt fear more than guilt. Before coming out I felt very self conscious about everything I said and done, like anything would give me away and people would know!

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Well, I guess so. But this hasn't happened with my family (yet) but I do feel kind of guilty when I'm outside on a date with a boy and I can't be holding hands or kissing him in front of people because it's kind of dangerous to do so on my country. I really hope don't feel this fear anymore in the future. 

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I am not sure because I live in a country where all these things are looked down even if almost 30-40 people have experienced it in their life whether on a regular basis or part time. However one thing is sure whatever the relation status in between same gender they would try to keep it to them as much as possible. Very few admit openly or reach to the marriage stage. We have all such known cases among the girls although boys have as much such relations as girls have.

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While hiding may lead to guilty feelings sometimes one is left with no other option.

 

The situations around a person matters too. It is important that one comes out at a right point in time when there are highest chances of being understood and perhaps accepted too.

 

 

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