Interested in becoming a forum moderator? Contact a staff member for more information!

DarkRose97

Do you ever feel guilty hiding your sexuality?

Rate this topic

18 posts in this topic

I have noticed more recently that guilt is not good. It does not come from a good place. It means fear and insecurity, especially in hiding something....

0

Share this post


Link to post


Hope, you are right!

I've never had to hide anything from anyone, so I can't really relate 100% to what it means to hide a relationship, but seeing some of my friends go through such rough times, it makes me sad. 

At first, they seemed fine with it. In fact, it's a necessity for some, to hide their gay or lesbian relationships from parents.. It's only after a while that it becomes harder and harder and then, unfortunately, many feel guilty.

The best advice I can give anyone in this situation is surround yourself with friends! Friends who understand and support you. It's gonna be easier to cope with the guilt.

0

Share this post


Link to post
On 16/01/2017 at 5:16 AM, hope said:

I have noticed more recently that guilt is not good. It does not come from a good place. It means fear and insecurity, especially in hiding something....

Yup, this is pretty much how I see it. But I think for people who are not ready to come out, it's necessary to go through some fear and some insecurity. It might just be the kick they need to want to stop feeling like this and become ready to come out. 

0

Share this post


Link to post

I never actually hid mine. I just wasn't interested in dating anyone until recently. So, I came out. Which was totally awkward, my mom saying I'm going through a phase all the time is NOT what I expected. I think she's the one going through a phase.. She just doesn't get it.

0

Share this post


Link to post

I actually don't know if I'm entitled to feel guilty. I'm confused, that I know for sure! (LOL, pun intended).

If I'll ever need to actually hide myself, I think I'd feel some guilt though. Lying is not my best feature.. but I guess one "evolves" if there's a need to stay closeted. 

0

Share this post


Link to post

Absolutely...what makes matters worse is that I've figured out that I'm gay..as f*ck WHILE with my first serious boyfriend (I've dated guys and girls in the past, but I only really fell in love and felt the way I did with a woman one time long ago- and even then I couldn't admit it to myself. I was extremely self-sabotaging, esp. back then.) It's a long process. Mh religious, generally unsupportive or ignorant family/family members, as well as seriously hurting my boyfriend whom I dearly cherish (add severe general anxiety and self-hating thoughts) don't help the fact. I just know that at the end of the day, all I can think about and appreciate is women. The way I bond with and make love to a woman is unlike anything I've ever had with a man. When I close my eyes at night or when I'm having sex with a male, I feel inner pain. Like I'm lying to and hurting everyone, inadvertently or not. But most of all, I'm lying to myself. Slowly but surely I hope to be so comfortable with who I am that this fear and shame will be long gone, replaced only with authenticity, joy and contentment. I feel I can only do this whilst living away from town. I don't know what to do regarding my current relationship at the moment due to various outlying factors, but I know one thing is that the truth will come out on my own terms in due time. As of now, I'm out as bisexual, which for some reason feels "safer" and more "accepted" than being full-on gay, which really is unfortunate. I think my boyfriend may subconsciously be looking the other way or maybe is truly oblivious, and my family thinks of my "bisexuality" as a phase and not natural. Don't get me started on when I was a younger teen living under my parents' roof, having been coerced to go to Christian & Catholic school my freshman & sophomore years and having to keep *any* sort of semblance or hint of homosexuality deeply guarded; before I even came out to my mother as bi by circumstance a few years back after the fact of her having found out about my first girlfriend whom I kept a secret (she was coined my "special friend" or "best friend") from my family. It's just a lot. Not one day goes by that I don't think about it. I once had a psychedelic trip which was truly eye-opening and emotional when at one point, my spirit naturally went to That Topic which I so conveniently deny in usual day-to-day life. Safe to say, that experience crumbled any remaining doubts.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

1

Share this post


Link to post
54 minutes ago, murderotic said:

But most of all, I'm lying to myself.

This is exactly why I struggle so hard to find myself, I don't like lying to others, but most of all, lying to yourself is the worst! It can lead to depression and other serious problems, and I really don't want that to happen to me! 

1

Share this post


Link to post

I do feel guilty, but only towards people who are important to me. Like, I feel guilty in front of my best friend. My parents don't make it easier either... I'd like to tell them about my sexuality one day, I'm just afraid to right now.

0

Share this post


Link to post

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now