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Roberta

What are some things you realize as you get older?

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Whаt аrе sоmе things yоu rеаlizе аs yоu gеt оldеr?
Whаt I'vе fоund is thаt, аs I'vе gоttеn оldеr аnd hаd mоrе еxpеriеnсеs, I'vе bеgun tо rеаlizе mоrе аbоut lifе. This hаs mаdе mе сuriоus аs tо whаt pеоplе оldеr thаn mysеlf hаvе lеаrnеd аbоut thе wоrld. Mind shаring аn аnswеr аnd inсrеаsing this yоungstеr's wisdоm?

 

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I'm not sure that I count as "older" (I'm 25) but some things that stick out to me:

1. If you aren't happy in a relationship or if something doesn't feel right, get out. Don't assume that this is the only real relationship you'll have, don't assume that no one else would ever want you, and don't assume that feeling awful all the time because of your relationship is normal. It's not and it's unhealthy. It's cliche but there are lists out there that give common signs of an abusive relationship. I saw them and recognized them but ignored it because the occasional thing didn't fit, I hadn't been hit yet, etc. I really wish I had gotten out of there sooner (I don't regret the whole thing, though, because I met my current partner here).

2. Be careful with student loans, especially private ones. My government loans aren't so bad but there were a couple of semesters where I needed extra to cover tuition and housing. I took out a private loan and the interest is kind of destroying me now. I'm worried that it'll delay buying a house and other "adult" things.

3. If you get any opportunities to travel, take them. I skipped out on study abroad programs because I couldn't afford it. I wish that I had figured something out or saved more because they were going to send me to Australia! I'm still young enough that I'm sure I'll get to travel eventually but definitely take advantage of any college programs like that.

4. Surround yourself with good people. If someone makes you feel bad all the time, cut them out of your life. I felt so much better when I became pickier with choosing friends and cut out toxic people. Don't worry so much about what people think of you (they think about you less than you think they do, anyway).

5. Buy less "things". Buy less alcohol/drugs. I've found that the things that make me happiest are my partner, pets, and nature.

6. If you have a mental illness (or think you have one), please get help. I'm a complete hypocrite because it took me ages to do this but there are options and they work! Medication and cognitive behavioral therapy both help and are backed by scientific evidence. Don't give up if the first medication doesn't work, it'll be completely worth it when you find one that does. It took three years for me to find a medication and dosage that worked for my bipolar disorder. The main issue was that they originally misdiagnosed me but my persistence paid off in the end and it helps SO much. I haven't found medication helpful for my anxiety disorder (though other people have had more success) but therapy has helped more than I expected. Don't suffer in silence, you deserve more than that.

I guess these are mostly aimed at the college crowd but those were some things that stuck out to me :).

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RedPanda has some great advice for being so young, but honestly, they are similar lessons I've had to learn myself.  However, the biggest thing I would stress is to put less emphasis on money and things and put MORE emphasis on relationships and experiences.  Basically, I know a lot of people with a lot of money and a lot of material things that they hold completely dear.  They are alone and miserable most of the time or when something happens (like a natural disaster), they are destroyed because all their happiness is put into money and things.  Relationships (friendships, family relationships, intimate relationships) are something that really can never be taken away unless the person dies or you end the relationship.  Even if one of those two things happen, you still have the memories and experiences of the times spent together.  Lastly, good experiences will make you life the happiest and best it can be.  Travel.  Go places you never have or never would normally consider.  Meet new people.  Volunteer to help out strangers.  Everyday you should try to experience something or someone new if it is possible.  Your life will forever be enriched by it.  At the very least, you'll have great stories to tell.

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As I've grown, I've come to realize that life is not as easy as it seems. I have learned to enjoy the little things in life and to let go of the materialistic things. At the end of the day, the little things are what matter most. I have also learned to take care of my responsibilities prior to any sort of fun activities. When I was younger, I made the mistake of putting all of the fun stuff before my responsibilities. This landed me with bad credit, bills that weren't paid, and lots of car trouble. It's an ongoing battle with being an adult. I'd love to say that I've learned from my mistakes, but I'm still in the process of learning how to be an adult and not screw up. I realize a lot as I get older, but still do not know how to utilize everything.

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Well I just recently graduated high school and I am not realizing that life is actually so much more difficult than we see it as a child or a teenager and I am confused by the fact why they don't educate us in school on these topics. I've also learned that if you want to achieve something you got to work your ass off to get it, nobody is going to do anything for you for free.

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Maybe I've become synical and jaded with age, but the world I see now is much more cold and cruel than the world I saw when I was younger.  I've realized that you will get screwed over if it's more convenient for another person to do so.  I've learned it's incredibly naive to give most people the benefit of the doubt.  I sincerely hope the lessons life teaches me in the near future shows me these prior lessons are not true.

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I've come to realize I am NOT the same person I was at 22 and at 22 I'm not the same person I was when I was 18. When I was 18 I realized I wasn't the same person as when I was 13.

My point is people can change. They can change quickly. I don't think your true identity settles in until you turn 25 or so.

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I think that I'm not old enough to really say that I have realized a lot of things, I'm just 21. But I guess that one of the things that I have learned is that everything is temporary, I mean, even life it's temporary, man. I also have learned to stay true to myself? I know that it sounds really cliché but it's true, I have spent a lot of time trying to be something for my family and society in general, and that's not how you live life, you need to do what makes you happy and comfortable, no matter what, even if you're terrified. 

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Some of the things that I have realized as I grow older are:
pain pleasure, happiness and sadness are two faces of the same coin.

People or things do not give you happiness. Actually happiness is a state of mind which can be achieved only through contentment.

 

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The most obvious thing is.. health! I get more of minor sickness here and there. And.. slipped disk since a year ago. It doesn't go away, as my friend said "it's like a background noise, it's always there", which is very true and annoying. Though I'm thankful that there's no major sickness.

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